because I really can't get enough of myself

Ok, here it is - that life changing announcement I mentioned I was going to make. Drum roll please... I have been spending many a (very VERY) late night these past few weeks, to bring you a new way to get Church clipart, t-shirts, posters, stickers, activities, games, talks, lesson helps, handouts, the list goes on. Green Jello with Carrots It is a joint business with my mom, who has excellent credentials. You can read all about her on the website. (Ok, so for now it's just a blog, but we will eventually have an actual website.) Right now I am still working out a few bugs, and adding more and more products and free stuff. That's right, I said FREEEEEE STUFFFFFFF. But I want to introduce my meager reading to this new business of mine, and see what everyone thinks. The goal is to have something ready made for you to download and use each sunday, or for FHE, or just for fun. Please, go and see. And then keep checking back, because it's just going to get better! See, your ...

I tried to take a picture of myself the other day. Except that because of the angle of the camera (as I held it out in front of me) my nose looked HUGE. I do have a sort of biggish nose. It's not tiny, I admit. But really - it's not that huge. Thank you very much. We put the monkey in a toddler bed tonight. It's been pretty scary so far. Bedtime was almost 3 hours ago and he's still awake. At least he's stopped jumping on his brother. I'm going to have a big announcement type thingy majig next week (monday or tuesday....we'll see.) Get ready, it's gonna be great! Or at least good. Maybe just ok. (With hype like this, you can tell it's clearly going to change your lives.) I need popcorn. That need it overpowering my need to lose 5,432,927.34 pounds right now. I think it's going to be caramel popcorn. Ok, so here's one of those big nosed pictures, that I'm sure you were dying to see since the opening line of this post. And since I'm...

We spent the weekend with my in-laws. On the way home we drove past a field of cows munching on weeds. All of them were in a group in the center of the field. Except for the loner cow, munching all by herself far off from the cow herd. Husband says, "Hey look - it's you in the cow world." Ok. Apparently I don't get along well with other cows. And if you ask my in-laws, they'd probably agree.

Aside from the obvious, like God outranking Darwin (which makes me more inclined to believe God's creation story versus Darwin's), I have a couple really great theories on why evolution is ridiculous. PREHENSILE TAILS Where did they go? Lesser intelligent monkeys have them, but you get to the apes and chimps and there are no tails to be found. So science expects us to believe that years and years of disuse led to the shedding of a tail out of non-necessity? Have you seen how much little monkeys use those things? A tail is like a 5th appendage - it's in constant use. Why would nature get rid of it? It just seems foolish. What I wouldn't give for a prehensile tail. Wanna know why else I think evolution is a bunch of hooey? OPPOSABLE TOES A chimpanzee can peel a banana using only it's feet while picking fleas off it's neighbor with it's hands. I have a hard time believing that's not a skill humans could use. How many mothers do you know wishes she had...

You know that movie "A Beautiful Mind" where the guy finds out that he's imagined his whole life; best friend, conspirators and all? Sometimes I feel like that. Well, not about the conspirators (unless my children count.) It's more like when I'm standing on the curb with my 4 year old, waiting for his bus and thinking: Today is thursday right? Not friday? Because he doesn't have school on fridays. I think it's thursday, but the bus is really late. Could it be friday? No wait, Lost was on last night, so it has to be thursday. Or was Lost on two nights ago? What did I do last night? Is it thursday or friday? Oh my gosh, what if it's like tuesday? And what if the bus isn't coming because he doesn't really go to school? He's just so horrible with all the screaming that I just wish I could get rid of him every day? Or what if I really don't have a 4 year old, the neighbors are probably wondering what I'm doing outside talking...

Mother nature is surely a moment away from striking, because everything is getting on my nerves today. But I won't let PMS get me down - I'm going to pull a Polly Anna and see if I can turn each of my annoyances into something positive. (We'll see how it goes, I'm not making any promises.) A few minutes ago I planted a couple new flowers in front of my house. Except that I couldn't find a shovel, or a trowel, or even a plastic scooper from my kids' beach buckets. So I had to dig holes for the new flowers with a spoon. And my biggest spoon wasn't even clean, so I had to use the smaller one and the handle kept bending because the ground here is a mixture of clay and rocks. But hey, new flowers! And I haven't had a chance to kill them off yet (plants have a low survival rate around here....so do frogs.) I got those new flowers at the grocery store this morning. Except that I had to take all of my kids with me to the store, which is something I try t...

Do you believe in magical clothes. I do. Except that clothes are usually possessed with evil magic. Not the good kind. Kind of like that dress that looks fabulous on the mannequin, and then looks fabulous when you try it on at the store, but the second you pay for it and put it on again it looks like you have grown an extra appendage from your lower back? Evil magic clothes. That's what it is. Our latest evil article of clothing is t-shirt. What could go wrong with a t-shirt, you ask? Well, I'll tell you. It is a cute little t-shirt with guitars on it, bought for our cute little guitar loving Monkey. It seemed so perfect. In fact, I believe it was even on sale (magic clothes usually are.) But he has never worn it a full day without some horrible disastrous mess occurring. Ever. Like the one day that we were in a huge hurry to get out the door, so I told everyone to eat their cereal at lightening speed. Monkey tried. And then his cereal bowl threw itself at the evil...

I work from home. (I've probably mentioned this before.) It really horribly and truly stinks to work from home. Completely. At first I thought, "I am so lucky to be able to stay home with my kids and still earn some money." And my friends would say, "How lucky you are to be able to stay home with your kids and still earn some money." And I must admit that it certainly beats being Crew Chief at McDonalds or even being stuck in an office for 8 hours a day But the way I see things now, it truly stinketh. The reason being, working from home is a double-edged sword.  Something (or in the case of the my children, someone) is always being neglected.  My house doesn't get cleaned, my laundry sits around in piles of wrinkled stench, my kids often wear diapers until the pee is soaking through them while simultaneously memorizing the PBS Kids show lineup because they see it so much, and my "to do" list both for work and home just keeps growing instead of...

About a week ago I won the "Pay it Forward" giveaway from Wonder Woman , and I'm just finally mentioning it. Wanna know why? Huh? Do you? It's because I just finished making like 5,432,987.3 hairbows for a couple of parties I'm having next week. Lots of bows people. LOTS. But anyways, I won the Pay it Forward give away, and now I'd like to, you know, Pay it Forward. So here's the deal (for the two of you out there who have never actually seen this before. Ok, who am I kidding, I think everyone knows about this, but here are the rules anyway because I know that some of you haven't actually won yet, and I totally want you to win this time.) If you win, you will receive a home made item from me within a year. I'm thinking crocheted hats. And now I'm sure you're all thinking that I'm totally going to send you a grandma hat that you'll hate. OH HOW YOU ARE WRONG, MY FRIENDS. I am an awesome hat maker. No really. I have perfect...