Mar 28, 2013

things I am tired of saying

There are certain things that I must say multiple times a day.  These things are not things that I choose to say, but most definitely the things that need to be said.  But I still get tired of saying them.

This one is the bane of motherhood:
I used to threaten stuff like "clean up or I'll sell all your stuff to gypsies!"  or "clean up or you'll never eat cheese again!"  But the kids never took me seriously.  So now I have to get real.  And no iPad privilages for a week?  Life doesn't get much more real than that.

This is something I say every single school morning:
The Monkey still has a hard time doing things for himself.  And we never get out of bed with enough time to leisurely get ready for our day.  We're not morning people, we're "hit snooze at least 7 times and then get angry at the sun for shining" people.  So when there is only 3 minutes until people need to be leaving, and the Monkey is still standing there stuck halfway into a shirt and pantless, it's up to me to get him put together.  And for some reason he thinks that he can go all floppy fish noodle on me, requiring me to shove his foot in his shoe for him.  It's super really obnoxious.  Because he's a six year old human being and not a floppy fish noodle for crying out loud.

I get really REALLY tired of this daily conversation:
I seriously loathe making dinner.  Because first you have to think of something to make.  And then you have to make sure you have all the stuff you need to make it.  Then you have to change tactics half way through when you realize that you are, in fact, missing multiple ingredients.  Then you have to spend an hour in the kitchen figuring out healthy side dishes and stirring things on a hot stove.  Then you have to dish it up for everyone on the right colored plates in the right proportions and serve it with the right utensils.  Then you have to sit at the table while every wails and moans about how disgusting the food is.  And I find that no matter what the dinner is, at least one of the kids is going to hate it.

As much as I hate saying all those things, this next one is the number one most abhorred utterance that I am required to declare once, if not seven times, a day:
I don't know what kind of logic makes a human being think it's ok to leave putrid floaters in the bathroom.  And why am I ALWAYS the one to discover such repulsive offerings?  I wonder sometimes if the kids do it on purpose.  Most likely though is that my children are disgusting creatures of habit that are much too distracted by legos and scooters to bother remembering to flush.  Which really makes me wonder about hand washing.

And those are some things I'm tired of saying.  What about you?  Do you have anything great (greatly annoying, that is) to add to the list?


jjstringham said...

I am tempted to get all of these put in vinyl lettering around my house. Maybe then I could at least stop saying them and just point to the appropriate wall.

elesa said...

Yep, that last would would look so good above my toilet.

Things I am always shouting: "Don't throw library books on the floor!", "Don't break these sticks!" (decorative branches. They are the worst), "Don't tease your brother. Stop screaming. Shut the door. Just go to the bathroom already!"

Caroline Bingham said...

I like your redesign! And also when people flush.

Andrea said...

Seriously, what is it with the poop thing? Some of my husband's brothers STILL do that. Drives me crazy.

J. said...

Oh dear, this same drama is played out in my house over and over again :). I really just hate having to repeat myself on everything. I also can't stand whining. I'm often saying "Use words not whines." I feel like a broken, did that just date me. Can't think of a modern equivalent though...stuck CD maybe?

Deb said...

Hi with your first problem... the cleaning one... try reading the entitlement trap. Some very effective ideas for very effective parenting strategies to deal with this.