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non-awesome-ness

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Do you ever wake up and think, "THIS is my life?  What a disappointment."  And then spend the rest of the day (week/month/life) in disgust of your non-awesome-ness?

I kind of thought life would be cooler by now.

I really didn't have any humongous plans for my future.  But I knew I wanted it to be good.  I planned on excitement.  Or something resembling excitement. 

Don't get me wrong, stuff happens here.  Number Four almost fell down the stairs head first today and I had to run and catch her before, you know, splat.  But that's not really the kind of excitement I had hoped for.

I think the most exciting thing that happened to me today was when I lost track of time and left for the bus stop too late and then had to run the last half block because Opie's bus driver is hideously strict and won't let him off the bus unless I'm RIGHT THERE.  But that's not really all that exciting either.

I'm thinking about moving to a foreign country, just to add some adventure to life.  But then I'd probably just get frustrated because I don't know any other languages.  And it's not like changing poopy toddler diapers in another country makes it that much more exotic.

Man, I really thought life would be cooler...

Comments

Barbaloot said…
I usually don't think that in the morning---way too tired. I get that at night when I go to bed. Alone. And have time to reflect on how my life isn't quite what I'd expected.

Sorry you're having a disappointing day. I hope something exciting, good exciting, happens soon.
23.9.10
Alison Wonderland said…
I suspect you might catch a lot of flack for this post but sister, I'm right there with you. I'm not sure how it happened but I'm 32 and I've never even been on the cover of a magazine. Weird huh?
23.9.10
Heidi said…
We all tend to be victims of the Cinderella complex, that marrying our prince charming will result in a life of romantic variety. Raising children is super rewarding, each phase is fun and different in one way or another, but each phase also introduces new ways for Mother to be confined in a schedule, a set of rules imposed by others (like the bus driver), a routine and the needs of her children. It is HARD. I hear that by the time you are a Grandma, you will look back at it all and feel like you are finally reaping the rewards. It comes faster than you think.
23.9.10
Jen said…
I know the feeling. Very well. I always expected to be some high power editor with my own publishing house, or at least half way there, by this age.
23.9.10
Unknown said…
I would think that you are going through a mid life crises, but I know you are not old enough for that. I, on the other hand, am old enough and know how you feel.

I ask myself, "wasn't I supposed to be more awesome than this? shouldn't I have accomplished more?"

I'm right there with you.
23.9.10
Claire said…
Yeah. It sucks.

Though in the future, i like to think that i'll be like Ina Garten with a huge house in the Hamptons and a Jeffrey and a KitcheAid mixer.

Though I wouldn't want to have to cook for everyone all the time. It's bad enough having to make oven chips and chicken nuggets, without having to dish up a slap up meal for some friends that like to play bridge. Pfft.
24.9.10
Loralee and the gang... said…
I don't know, I think I got you beat, because even my expectations were boring, and I still failed to live up to them... I need a vacation...or a double life. Witness protection program, anyone?
26.9.10
annie valentine said…
This is exactly why we're moving to a foreign country. i'm convinced laundry will be easier there.
28.9.10
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