Earlier today I watched 14 year old Monkey playing his electric guitar. He's getting pretty good. And then I thought about a video that I posted when he was 2, loving the new little plastic guitar he'd just gotten for Christmas, "playing" along to Guns N Roses while wearing snowman pajamas, spiderman slippers, and a pink binky. And then I wanted to watch that video, but a horrible thought crossed my mind: "Oh my gosh, does my blog even still exist?!" So I came and found it. Because yes, it's still here. I'm just not.
Which is sad...
This thing used to bring me so much joy. I could get all my weirdo thoughts out there. And then I could go read other people's blogs and feel like I was making friends. And then I'd meet those other people in real life and realize that I actually was friends with them. And then we'd all blog and be friends. I MISS THAT.
I was reading through a bunch of old posts tonight. I wrote a lot of stuff about diapers.
Back when I used to write a lot I had 4 tiny kids. With easy tiny kid problems. And chubby tiny kid cheeks. And funny tiny kid stories.
You know what I have now?
Four teenagers and a 6 year old.
No one ever warned me that when you reach the teenager stage of parenting that you'll have quite a few moments of wishing super SUPER hard to go back to the days when you had 3 kids in diapers. Because as kids get bigger, so do their problems, so does the stress, so does the amount of money they need, and so do the amount of times you say "time passes too fast!!!"
And you know what else teenagers will give you? Gray hairs. Lots of them. And also, when you try and lie about your age, no one believes you're 28 when you're dropping your child off at college.
That's right.
I HAVE A KID IN COLLEGE NOW.
Time passes too fast!!!
Thank goodness for my little Spike. He's my 6 year old. He's the sweetness my days need. When my 16 year old does nothing but grunt at me, and my 14 year old smells up the entire basement with his shoes, and my 13 year old is having a PMS driven meltdown about placemats, and I remember that I'm old enough to have a kid in college, my sweet Spike will run into the room and blow me a kiss. Just because he wanted to. And then I don't have the mental breakdown that was rapidly downloading in my brain.
But you know, after all these years of neglecting my blog while my children have grown, there is one thing that has remained the same. I still really hate showering. It takes SO LONG. And you have to redo hair and makeup and wah wah wah wah ugh. Showers. Totally overrated.
I don't really want a 'dream home'. I don't want to settle down in one house to raise my kids and then grandkids and then great-grandkids. I don't want to be trapped within the confines of the same exact walls from this moment until the day I die. The whole idea sounds like torture. Sometimes my house feels like a prison. (Although, I think it may have something to do with the little wardens that keep me from leaving at my leisure.) And once I've lived in one place long enough I just get really really bored. We've been married for 8 years and moved 7 times. I always hate the moving part, but I do like being somewhere new. And the house we're in right now is actually perfect for us. Just the size we need, great neighbors, close to the school, blah blah blah. The only thing is that we're renting and I can't paint the walls. I like painting walls. But for the most part, I really like living here. Granted, we've only lived here for seve...
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