because I really can't get enough of myself

Being a geek is fun.

I'm listening to my children converse in the other room and I'm realizing that I totally forgot about the injustices of childhood.  You know, when the world is out to get you, and everyone hates you, and you're the unluckiest kid on the entire planet and possibly universe, otherwise why would your life be SO HARD?! Two Bits is teaching the younger two the finer points of voicing the despair and unfairness of things while they pick a billion plastic baggies off the floor that they decided to throw there and then try and convince me that our giant box of baggies exploded on it's very own. The Two Bits dramatic dialogue goes like this: "This is the worst summer vacation EVER.  We're like slaves!  We don't even have a vacation planned, and we can't even go to Disneyland even though we're doing ALL THESE chores!!   We never do anything fun.  Our days are just filled with chores and cleaning and relaxing then more chores, and then relaxing, then w...

Opie has a friend over today.  This does not happen often.  Because we kind of scare people.  Even though I'm not even my usual scary self when other people's kids are here, just more, um, me-ish can't-be-helped scary. Which I guess is still kinda scary. And also my kids don't have friends over because they always get "SO BORED".  Because, all 50 billion of their toys don't ever sound like fun.  I mean, why would they?  It's not like people spent hard earned money to provide my children entertainment in plastic and blinking form or anything. So before Opie and his friend started on the "we're SO BORED"'s I took some sheets outside and built them a tent by hanging them from our tree.  Because I'm super clever like that.  And then I thought, "HA!  They'll be busy playing here for HOOOOOURS ." Except that they were bored by the tent in less time than it took me to set it up. So then I told them to play command...

My husband is the worst moth killer ever. I'm very good at my part of the moth killing job.  I see the moth.  I jump and point.  I yell, "It's a moth!  Get some toilet paper.  Kill it!  KILL IT!  HURRY!" But then... Husband takes FOREVER getting toilet paper while I have to watch the moth and wait and wait and wait. So then, by the time Husband comes back, it has MOVED. I really hate it when bugs move.  It's creepy. When the moth killing is finally a go, Husband starts swinging his arms wildly.  Probably because the moth is flying at his face. I've learned to leave the room because he doesn't even care if he makes the moth go flying right at MY face.  It's rude.  And creepy. And then most of the time he can't find the moth after he's been flinging his arms around, because it's sort of impossible to watch a moth and swing at a moth at the same time.  Or so Husband tells me. So then I have to cower in my room...

If you haven't noticed I have this thing about ghosts.  And am slightly and sort of ish obsessed, but not really, about it.  Well, guess what?!  I have a real ghost story to tell now.  A REAL ONE. For reals, people, REEEAL . The other night I got in bed while Husband headed to the basement to iron his fancy clothes (because he has to wear fancy clothes to work now).  I closed my bedroom door, got in bed, rolled to face the wall, and started to nod off. I wasn't really asleep yet though, and I left a lamp on for when Husband came back up.  Except that Husband takes a LOOOOOOONG time to iron.  Because he likes his fancy clothes to be perfection in starch. As I laid there, not quite sleeping yet, Heavy footsteps came from the kitchen, and then into the hall.  Then my bedroom door opened - I heard the doorknob turn, I heard it creak open (old houses have creaky doors as a rule).  And then the footsteps came into my room. I thought it wa...

So it's summer vacation.  yeeeeha.  My kids have spent their two first days of summer vacation "doing chores" which is what I told them to do.  Except that "doing chores" means "destroy the house" to the kids.  So, you know, good times. I want to start blogging regularly again because I miss having an outlet in which I can say whatever I want.  Outlets are super. I was actually going to start blogging regularly about a month ago.  And then all sorts of not cool happened and I just didn't feel like it.  But now it's a little less not cool, so yeah, we're good. One awesome thing about summer vacation is that I decided to have a tradition where I rewatch Buffy the Vampire Slayer seasons 1-7.  Which is what I'm doing while I type this blog post.  Because Buffy is neato and I still love Spike. And guess what else?  My 5 year old Monkey needs bifocals.  Yup.  BIFOCALS.  Which is the super bestest thing ever. A...