because I really can't get enough of myself

When I arrived at the dentist today I was a little worried that after taking the loopy pills I was still extremely coherent.  So they gave me something stronger and BOY HOWDY DID IT WORK. I remember laying back on the dentist chair and picking out something to watch on the tv in the ceiling - My Big Fat Greek Wedding. And I remember watching the scene where they discuss sending her to Greece to find a husband, because they were making a mold of my teeth at the same time. And then I remember waking up in my own bed in different clothes at 10:00 PM when my husband kept yelling "Rise and shine, sleeping beauty!" So basically, I can't recall ANYTHING about most of my day.  But apparently I was interacting with with everyone like crazy.  I know this because my husband was kind enough to record some of these interactions on his phone.  And I figure I might as well post them online now while I'm still a little fuzzy and thinking their funny, because by tomorrow morn...

Tomorrow my teeth become royalty.  Because I'm getting two crowns and six cavities taken care of at the dentist. Let me tell you how excited I am that I have reached the age of needing crowns. SO EXTREMELY NOT EXCITED. Except that when we were dentist shopping I deliberately chose an office that provides sedation.  I could be completely knocked out if I feel like it.  Sadly, insurance won't cover wussy sedation needs, and you know how expensive anesthesiologists are.  (If you really don't know how expensive they are I kind of hate you a little bit.  We've had way too many surgeries in this house.) The good news is that there's a second option at this dentist's office - LOOPY PILLS.  And it's actually affordable.  So basically, I take these pills an hour before my appointment and they make me completely incoherent and tired and spacey and LOOPY.  And then when they're doing all the nasty mean dental work I can just think about ba...

So yesterday was Valentine's Day.  What a lame holiday.  Think about how many roses had to die just so people could be all mushy and stupid.  LAME. Except that I was really fighting the urge to not work during the day.  Because I had lots of work to do, but technically it was a "holiday", but not really, so does that mean I can take time off?  I wasn't sure.  But in the end my laziness won out and I walked away from my computer. Then I did what any sane person does on such a tremendous day of love:  I downloaded a horror novel onto my ipad kindle app and started reading. I did take a short break from the gore to make my husband some cookies and do the dishes.  Because that was my gift to him.  Which is a pretty cheap gift, but at least I didn't kill any flowers for it or anything. And Husband was kind of late getting home because I told him that he better come bearing chocolate.  But not just any chocolate, GOOOOOD chocolate....

Tonight I was doing my most obnoxious British accent while helping the kids get ready for bed. It was pretty excellent because I was really drawing out the syllables and putting in all sorts of annoying inflections. And, of course, I was doing it at the best possible pitch and decibel level to make the average adult male's ears bleed. Husband LOVED it. And then when we were saying family prayers all the kids insisted sitting on me, leaving poor old daddy sitting all by himself. So after we all said amen I had to let husband know that the kids love me more than him because of my amazing talents - and I said it in my obnoxious British accent. It's moments like those that I hope our baby monitor is being picked up by one of the neighbors, who then realize how immensely hilarious I am, and tell all the other neighbors, who then decide to throw me a party, where they present me with one of those giant checks for 5 billion dollars. But even without the cash, it's worth it ...

Have you heard this song? First of all, I have to say that the video is GROSSSSSSSS. Body hair - eeeew. EEEEEEEEEEEW. But what I really want to say about it is that I cannot get it out of my head.  Ever.  It's just stuck in there on constant repeat like that song from Lambchops: "this is the song that never ends, it just goes on and on my friend.....". Part of the not getting out of my head thing is due to the fact that Husband is seriously obsessing over it.  It's the only song he's ever downloaded from itunes to his phone.  And he plays it over and over and over. I've known my husband for almost 11 years, and do you want to know how many times he has obsessed over a song? NEVER.   ever. So I have this theory that the song actually contains subliminal messages.  And my theory says that the messages are actually two tiers deep.  (I've put a lot of scientific brain thought into this - since I'm so super science-y and stuff.)  Th...