because I really can't get enough of myself

I know that you think you have WAY better things to do right now than read my blog.  But let me tell you - it's soooooooooooooooooo worth reading this.  It really really is.  Just the amount of "o's" in that "so" should have convinced you already, but in case you need more persuasion, I now present to you... 42 REASONS TO READ THIS BLOG POST: 1. I'm more exciting than a barrel full of squishy piglets.  2. And I showered today, so I actually smell better too. 3. Once I entered and won a pie eating contest - and I can tell you about it. 4. Fine, I didn't win. 5. FINE, I didn't even enter.  6. Where does one enter a pie eating contest anyway? 7. I have played an actual game of Bunko before, which is probably the most interesting story that I can think of to tell you right now that is actually truly true. 8. At the Bunko game I had to tell my cousin not to eat the Jell-o because not all Jell-o is jiggly and sobriety friendly. 9. I kind ...

alternate title: Not a Good Way to Tell your Kids About Santa So, Christmas.  sigh.  Things were going per the usual, insanely busy, way but I knew we'd make it and have a great Christmas day with presents that would magically appear under the tree whether or not I had spend an entire week without sleep getting them finished in time. Opie, however, is a thwarter.  Thwarter: one who thwarts/hinders/slows/and quite possible RUINS CHRISTMAS. Two Bits received an MP3 player from Santa this year.  She pretty much loves it, and hasn't really taken those headphones off since we gave them to her.  Which is saying a lot since that MP3 player was the catalyst in the whole Opie ruined Christmas story. The story goes like this: Opie is a challenge.  My own personal challenge.  Sometimes I think he's in cahoots with the devil to see how many times a day I can yell loud enough for the neighbors to hear. Opie steals, lies, poops his pants, punch...

Merry Christmas - - from us ! p.s. Mombabe and Jen were the winners of my drawing. And now you know.

Because I'm awesome, I'm giving away TWO $25 gift certificates for my stellar website Green Jello with Carrots .  (These are to cover those last minute, "oh crap I forgot to buy a gift for what's their bucket" emergencies.) Here are some pictures of the crap we offer on our site (and when I say "crap" I mean "the awesomest products ever to exist"):  Fun games for FHE or, you know, just for fun.  A crazy huge amount of file folder games. (Church-y & fun ones.) Primary talks, in color so all you have to do is print them.  Hey look, more file folder games.  Christmas-y stuff. Cool stuff to use in Primary classes or for FHE.   Some other stuff.  Ok, LOTS of other stuff.  We seriously have lots and lots of stuff. All you have to do is leave me a comment and tell me what your favorite product is.  And you can have extra entries if you either follow my Green Jello with Carrots blog or "like" us on Facebook .  (Leave a comme...

I had potato chips for breakfast.  This is not a generally healthy practice to begin with, and it was a pretty horrible choice if I had had the goal to have a good, or even semi-decent, morning.  Because when I bit into my second breakfast chip a humongous chunk of my front top tooth broke off, leaving a huge cavernous hole that could rival the canyon in Twin Falls that Evel Knievel tried to jump over on his "skycycle" in 1974. At least it FELT that big. (Sometimes I get a little dramatic - but it wasn't tiny, I swear.) It didn't hurt though.  Because my front top teeth are dead anyway. My 9th grade spring break was pretty eventful for my teeth.  I thought it would be great to learn how to skateboard that week.  (I had the skater jeans, I just needed to actually skateboard.)  So my friend and I took the only skateboard we had, which was an old skinny board that my aunt got in the 70's that rocked back and forth on its rickety old wheels. ...

There are a few conundrums of sorts floating around in my head.  Some of them aren't really solvable problems, just more things that deserve a loud "ack". Every time I run errands I take Husband's car.  And pretty much every time I take Husband's car it's completely out of gas.  As in, the gas light is blaring the second the car starts, and I sit there wondering how long it's been like this, and that I'm really glad there's a gas station just around the corner. Do you think he runs out of gas on purpose, knowing that I'll need the car next?  Probably, right? Every morning Number Four stands in our living room, pointing her chubby little finger and screeching, "MOMMY!!!  MOMMY!!!! "  until I plug the Christmas tree lights in.  Number Four's speech still isn't all that great, but man has she mastered the inflections of the word "mommy" to pretty much mean anything. You know, the first time you hear your baby...

I think I have a lot to say.  And I feel like numbering this post so it sounds all important and stuff.  So here we go: #1 - Have you heard about this yet: 'Tis cool.  Every month you get 1 of 12 special edition paintings and ideas on how to bring your family closer through dinner table conversations and lessons. All the paintings are by Liz Lemon Swindle, who not only is a fabulous painter but an awesome person.  When I was 18 I got to listen to her speak at a fireside.  I can still remember some of the stuff she said - which is saying a lot since my brain hardly remembers ANYTHING these days. Check it out on the details on the   Return to the Family site. #2- Monkey got into the Early Intervention Preschool.  And might I add, FINALLY.  I 've been trying to get him in since last February.  I haven't really blogged about it because I figure I whine enough here as it is.  And sometimes frustration is better deal...

Yesterday was a "snow day".  As in, it snowed 6+ inches overnight so the school district called all the parents at 5:00 AM with a recorded message in Spanish telling them the schools were closed. Yes, I said AT 5:00 AM.  IN SPANISH.  I'm pretty sure we still speak English in the U.S. even if it's well before dawn.  I didn't answer my phone so my voicemail recorded it all, it was a pretty long message for such a short topic.  I mean, they could have just said, "SNOW DAY!" and all the parents would be like, "OK!"  And then we could all get back to our sleeping.  But no.  Long Spanish message.  (At 5 AM.) A few minutes after hearing the phone go off I checked the message just in case someone had died or something (since that's pretty much the only time someone SHOULD call me that early).  I had no idea what the message said in my half-asleep state, but I coudln't go back to sleep so finally I woke up for real and listened again....