because I really can't get enough of myself

I have a new phobia.  Because I don't have enough as it is.  (By the way, does anyone know the technical medical term for the "fear of pyscho-stalker-killer hiding behind shower curtain?"  I've had that one for years.  Possibly it's just called paranoia.) Currently, as in right now , I am afraid of sleep. Seriously.  It's a real phobia.  Somniphobia.  I just found it on Wikipedia, and Micheal on the Office said once that Wikipedia is never wrong.  Plus, I'm pretty sure it's an actual phobia. Wanna know why I'm afraid of sleep?  (I actually have a good reason.) SLEEP PARALYSIS. Did you know that you're actually in a paralyzed state when you're sleeping?  It's true.  Google it.  Apparently you have to be paralyzed so that you don't physically act out your dreams, or something like that. But then sometimes, your mind wakes up but your body doesn't.  So basically you think you just woke up, but your body won't move...

As I sat in the turn lane this evening, pondering the Harley Davidson in front of me, I realized something: Some day I want to ride on the back of a motorcycle and wear one of those helmets that has a communication device in it so that my voice can be heard really clearly when I say, "I think one of the windows is down."

Lately I've been thinking about how much fun it would be to write an autobiography.  I can imagine my great great great granddaughter reading it to her children.  And they would all be enraptured by my stunning life story.  They would feel like they know me.  And then when we all meet in the afterlife they'll say, "You had such an awesome life - you're amazing - I love you most out of all my dead and really old ancestors!"  And then we'd high five. Except that would mean I'd have to really embellish my past.  It's not that I didn't have a thrilling and exciting childhood.  Because it was.  Thrilling.  Involving things like world renowned bike riding skills.  And ninjas.  (At least that's what the autobiography will say.) Of course I'd have to omit my geek phase (that may or may not still be happening....)  And I would never mention any of the embarrassing things that happened.  Like the time I peed my pants in third ...

My new niece doesn't have a name yet.  I know they have some picked out, and I'm pretty sure my suggestion isn't in the running.  I've decided to call her Polka Dot.  Just until something else becomes official.  (But really, I don't know why no one ever takes my suggestions on baby names.) Things were looking pretty bad for my sister-in-law all friday (the day after Polka Dot was born.)  They kept her unconscious in the ICU.  That afternoon they took her back into surgery and tried to get the bleeding to stop with some kind of laser something.  I don't really understand lasers, but I know they do some pretty awesome stuff.  And luckily it worked on my sil and she never had to have that hysterectomy; although, I think that was going to be phase two of the surgery if phase one didn't work.  Thank goodness that prayers and lasers work! They let her wake up on saturday morning, but kept her in the ICU until today.  We haven't gone to bug...

My sister-in-law had a baby last night.  Another girl in the family (girls tend to be a recent trend....)  The baby is healthy, and probably looks like her 2 year old sister - except maybe with hair.  (Baldy firstborn girls also seem to be a trend here.) Except after delivering the baby, in what I hear was a very rushed manor, my sister-in-law couldn't stop bleeding.  The baby was born at 1:28 AM, and by the wee morning hours of dawn she was still bleeding  (I say "wee morning hours" because the details are going through about 5 channels before they reach me, so accuracy is somewhat lost.) They took her into surgery to find and fix the source of the bleeding.  I guess she spent hours in there.  They couldn't figure it out.  So they sent her to the ICU, still bleeding.  That's the last I heard a few hours ago.  I guess if she doesn't start clotting and slowing down in X amount of hours (accuracy - not known) she'll have to have a hyst...

Blogger is saying that I've written 200 posts. This will actually throw me over to 201. I should throw a party. Everyone is invited. There will be a $50 entrance fee. But don't worry, it will be fun - we'll eat m&m's and read old blog posts of mine. I might even allow people to take bathroom breaks. I know, it sounds thrilling. I have a special announcement to everyone I promised free blog designs (which was like months ago....yeah, I know.) I will send your free designs soon . I PROMISE. I meant to get some work done last week while I was away from all my clinging children. But instead I just kept looking at my sister's baby saying things like, "Aaaaaaaaw, she's SO CUTE," while I didn't clean her house for her. I don't think I was much help. But I did take a lot of these: And that counts for something, right?  (You can see a few more pictures here   we took a billion, but they're not all online - you'd be scro...

"Musicbox" by Regina Spektor. But I don't know if I'm quirky enough.  I think I need to develop a few more eccentricities to qualify for that song. Maybe if I were a song I could be "Crazy Train" by Ozzy Osborne.  Mostly just for the title's sake and the line, "I'm going off the rails of the crazy train." If Husband wanted to describe me by song he would probably pick, "Short Skirt/Long Jacket" by Cake when really I'm more like, "Fat Bottom Girls" by Queen.  (But don't listen too closely to those lyrics....man were those guys screwed up.) But that's ok, because if I were to describe Husband with a song it would have to be "White and Nerdy" by Weird Al Yankovic. And if my blog were a song, it would be "Basket Case" by Green Day.  'Cause you know it starts out: "Do you have the time, to listen to me whine...." Hey look, a conveniently located playlist with all the s...