because I really can't get enough of myself

I'm always reinventing the food I create.  Not because I am a master chef with all these great ideas.  More because my food never really tastes that good to begin with, so when eating leftovers, it's really not good at all. First I'll pull a container of food out of the fridge and the first thing I check is if it's swarming with mold.  Because sometimes I forget how old the leftovers really are, so it's a good thing that the mold reminds me that, in fact, we ate the original pot roast 2 months ago and not last sunday like I thought. If said container of food is not fuzzy and/or blue, I decide that it's as good a lunch as any.  But then I remember how not awesome it tasted, and how nuking things in a microwave always make them taste sort of icky anyway.  And then comes my lunch altering thought: "This would taste so much better with______________ in it." (insert condiment or food item in blank) And the resulting lunch, is sometimes, sort of, no...

Remember when I shattered the glass screen on my iphone ?  It got fixed at this little kiosk in the mall, which seemed just fine.  But immediately after I got it back it started to trap little particles of crap behind the glass. And then time passed. And more time passed. Until my phone was hoarding so much dust and gunk behind it's glass that it was ultra disgusting.  And I was almost too embarrassed to show people my awesome Tardis phone skin. Except that I showed off my Tardis skin anyway, because I was so excited. I would say, "Check out my super cool phone skin!" And people would be like,"That's awesome!"  And I would be like, "Do you know what it is?" And people would be like, "Not really.  Is it from a book or movie or something?" And I would be like, "You and me - we're no longer friends." And then I would walk away.  Because, honestly, IT'S THE TARDIS.  (Someday I'm going to make my husba...

 A few weeks ago, I got to go on a tour of the City Creek Shopping Center in downtown Salt Lake City.  It won't be done until the end of March, but it's going to be pretty impressive. The stores take up two full blocks with a skybridge and flagship stores for Macy's and Nordstroms.  Which might impress some of you in great amounts.  I hardly ever go shopping, so I can't muster the proper enthusiasm.  I am, however, extremely excited for the Disney Store to be there. And, being married to an architect, I always have to look how things are designed and I've gotta say, the City Creek Shopping Center is pretty awesome.  They have retractable roofs!  Just as cool as a convertible sports car.  Except, you know, with a building.  (And therefore way more impressive.) There's a little creek running through the whole shopping center, with real live trout in them.  So if you've spent all your money and can't afford lunch at the foodcourt...

So I've been thinking. It's time for me to stop being so fat and ugly. But every time I look in the mirror and tell myself to knock it off, nothing happens. I don't get it. It's like my body is just waiting for me to exercise or put on makeup or something. (Like that's ever going to happen.)  I did something really embarrassing the other day. Again. Sometimes it seems like my like if just one humiliating moment after another. Husband and I went to see a movie. At the cheap theater. Because that's where we always go. And afterwards I had to my make obligatory "I drank a whole diet coke during that movie" potty stop. The bathrooms at the cheap theater were designed solely to make my eyes wig out. They're completely covered in alternating black and white tiles. So pretty much when I walk into the room my eyes and my brain start arguing, and I'm left feeling disoriented and a little blind-ish. So, the other night, when I rushed int...