because I really can't get enough of myself

Once upon a time, early July 2003, I was terrified.  I had just had my first baby.  My mom was there to help me, but then something horrible happened. SHE WENT HOME. My family lived far away.  Like 18 hours in a car away.  Which felt much farther as I stood by the window, watching my mom drive away, while I clutched my newborn infant with the realization that I had no idea what I was doing with this human being I created. I don't think I had ever truly been that terrified before or since. Until now. Something new and extremely daunting now sits in my path.  It's like this giant monster that is just sitting there, blocking the entire path, and needs to be dealt with because there's no way around it. And I have no idea what to do. This thing is called " parenting a preteen ". I AM REALLY NOT EQUIP TO DEAL WITH THIS. I look into the gorgeous face of my amazing daughter who just turned 12 and I think, "I'm going to mess this up so much.  But I...

I feel like since I stopped blogging I've become much less articulate.  And my vocabulary has shrunk down to just "really" "awesome" and "whoa".  Except I like to spell it "woah", because in my head it looks better. I don't know if you know this, but I had another baby.  Seven and a half months ago.  And he's incredibly awesome.  Really.  (See?  I need new adjectives.) Here's a picture of my new baby.  We call him Spike. (If anyone is looking for a great photographer in Utah County - I can refer you to ours.) For 3 more days my kids will be the ages: 11, 10, 8, 7, and 7 months.  But then the old one turns 12 and those first four sound much less dramatic.  There's a pretty huge gap between the two youngest though, and I have to tell you - IT IS THE BEST THING IN THE WORLD.   I say that now, because it's true.  For now.  I might change my mind later.  But here are some of the major perks of having a bunch o...