because I really can't get enough of myself

Online shopping is great.  Because when the packages come it's like a little mini Christmas, just for me.  Every time I hear the thump of a package at my front door I get really excited to know what has shown up.  And I get to lock myself in my bedroom and open it while being perfectly justified ignoring the screaming children out in the hall. The other day I got a package with the sock monkey family inside (mom, dad, boy, and girl, complete in a box that looks like a car - yeah).  It was extra super exciting because I ordered it on ebay and you never really know when stuff will show up after you've used ebay.  And I can't remember the users whom I've ordered from, so when a package shows up and it's from some guy named Herbert from Michigan, and I'm thinking, "What is this?" and then I open it up and it's a sock monkey family... CHRISTMAS! Except that sometimes when the packages show up the delivery people ring my doorbell.  Which, normally,...

I lost my phone for awhile today.  This used to happen all the time.  And then I'd find it in the deep recesses of the couch or in the back of my closet or behind the toilet or something.  But that was back when my phone was just good for stupid stuff, like talking to people.  blech. But now I usually have my phone RIGHT THERE, because I'm one of those addicted-to-their-smart-phone people.  Sometimes I'll tell people that I lost it and that's why I couldn't answer their call, when really it's because I'm busy exploding chuzzles or browsing pinterest when they call and I don't want to be interrupted.  Or sometimes (ie. all the time) I just don't want to talk on the phone, so I lie and pretend it's lost. But when I lost my phone for real today, I was pretty scared.  And I had to go to the school and help in Monkey's kindergarten class WITHOUT it.  And then I had to go to the grocery store and buy Orville Redenbacher's new Farmhouse C...