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Why I'm writing this post at 2:40 AM

I always have to pee right before I go to sleep.  Sure, I go just before going to bed.  But then I just lay there, for hours, NOT SLEEPING.

Insomnia is awesome like that.

I can be completely dead tired, but I still just lay in bed, in the dark, with my brain in squirrel mode.  NOT SLEEPING.

And then finally, FINALLY, my brain will be like, "ooh, sleep, yeah...." But then guess who wakes up?

My big fat jerk bladder.

Because suddenly it's like, "Whoa, remember that swallow and a half of water you had at 10:00?  Hey, let's go to the bathroom!"  And it's not like you want to ignore that knd of urge all night.

So then I stumble the five steps into the bathroom, which jiggles my brain awake a little.

And then I remember that I like to think about ghosts whenever I walk near the stairs at night, which scares my brain awake more.

And then I have to turn on the light to make sure there are no giant spiders lying in wait for me behind the toilet, which pretty much is the final brain waking trigger.

So that stupid "final" trip to the bathroom combined with my insomnia prone brain means that I'm literally laying bed with my iPad typing this blog post and hoping that I don't drop it on my face while laying on my back to spell check everything.

Because dropping an iPad on your face kind of hurts.  And it would be pretty embarrassing, you know, if the entire world weren't already asleep, but watching me instead.

And now, dear friends, I'll probably peruse pinterest some more, until my brain decides to turn off again, all the while hoping that my bladder doesn't decide to wake up again before morning.

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so here's the thing...

I have to make an announcement. But it's not one that I'm thrilled to make. For the past week I've been ignoring it so that, like the proverbial dog, it will just GO AWAY. Honestly, the odds of it just going away are slim to fat-chance, so I should just announce it already. I'm moving. To Utah. Every time I think about it, I also think I'm going to throw up. I know there's a lot of people who like living in Utah, so I don't want to offend anyone, but I HATE UTAH. Direly. And when I moved away a decade ago I vowed never ever ever ev-er to move back.  EVER.  ( Motherboard told me last week to never make that vow because then God HAS to force you to move back - - too bad her warning is about 10 1/2 years too late.) So now, I'm sure you're asking yourself, "If you hate it so bad, why are you moving?"  Which is an excellent question. Husband got a new job.  With real live actual benefits (jobs without benefits are, shall we