I used to get migraines all the time. But then I got really good at figuring out my migraine triggers and how to cut one off before it really ever started. But the thing about migraines is that they're like that one annoying friend that stops by for visits even when you make up a myriad of excuses to get out of it.
It's like my migraines miss hanging out or something, so they insist on paying a visit.
If migraines could talk they'd say something like, "Hey girl, it's been so long since I've given you double vision and vertigo that I just thought I'd stop by and make you barf. This so much fun!"
Migraines would probably have really nasaly voices too, just to be extra obnoxious. And fish breath. And if they had fingers they'd probably go around your house turning on all the lights, and then they'd pinch your kids just to make them scream.
And you know how, just like that one annoying friend, migraines stay waaaaay too long? Or they threaten to make a reappearance so you just have to lay there and play dead, hoping they'll just get bored and go away? I really hate that.
Some people can just ride out their migraines and then be fine in a few hours, or the next day, or whatever. But not me. The only way to get rid of mine is to go full-on drug lord and swallow my weight in pain killers. And then I have to lock myself in a lightless, noiseless, smell-less room and fall into a drug coma for awhile.
My methods usually work, although not always. Because sometimes my migraines like to have sleepovers. And even if it does work, I always have to deal with the next day drug hangover, which usually involves a completely different kind of headache.
It's all just superbly annoying. And completely unnecessary, you know what I mean?
It's like my migraines miss hanging out or something, so they insist on paying a visit.
If migraines could talk they'd say something like, "Hey girl, it's been so long since I've given you double vision and vertigo that I just thought I'd stop by and make you barf. This so much fun!"
Migraines would probably have really nasaly voices too, just to be extra obnoxious. And fish breath. And if they had fingers they'd probably go around your house turning on all the lights, and then they'd pinch your kids just to make them scream.
And you know how, just like that one annoying friend, migraines stay waaaaay too long? Or they threaten to make a reappearance so you just have to lay there and play dead, hoping they'll just get bored and go away? I really hate that.
Some people can just ride out their migraines and then be fine in a few hours, or the next day, or whatever. But not me. The only way to get rid of mine is to go full-on drug lord and swallow my weight in pain killers. And then I have to lock myself in a lightless, noiseless, smell-less room and fall into a drug coma for awhile.
My methods usually work, although not always. Because sometimes my migraines like to have sleepovers. And even if it does work, I always have to deal with the next day drug hangover, which usually involves a completely different kind of headache.
It's all just superbly annoying. And completely unnecessary, you know what I mean?
Comments
-Shan Salas @ Brandon Chiropractor
Shavonda @ AvicennaDenver.com