and then school starts

Today was the first day of school for us.

I had my whole morning all planned out.   

It was to go like this:

1. We all get tremendous amounts of sleep the night before and are fully, absolutely, happily rested.

2. I wake up early and start a special breakfast filled with love.

3. Listening to the birds chirp gaily, I tiptoe to the children's room and wake up just the two older kids (letting the little kids sleep in).

4. They wake up with smiles and get dressed while I finish the love-filled breakfast.

5. I sing about butterflies until robins land on my outstretched fingertips while unicorns prance over rainbows.

6. The kids eat.

7. I do a spectacular first day of school hairdo on Two Bits while discussing philosophical topics such as the existential realm of avocados.

8. We take first day of school pictures and give hugs and maybe a high five or two.

9. Husband takes the kids to school on time, with no stress, and maybe the unicorns could follow the car for a few blocks.

10. I go back to bed (because, let's face it, my plans are always realistic).


GOOD PLAN, right?


This is how it really went:

1. Opie wakes me up 4 times during the night ask if it's morning yet.  The rest of my night is filled with vivid dreams about The Borg.


2. I wake up early, and go to the bathroom, while Husband helps  by running downstairs and yelling, "GET UP, IT'S MORNING!" 

3. The little kids lay on the kitchen floor whining while I start the special breakfast filled with annoyance.

4. The older kids come upstairs with grumpy, "eeew, what are you making?" faces.

5. I have to make extra breakfast since I didn't plan on feeding the WHOLE family so early.  So we eat in stages, and I'm in and out of the kitchen.

6. I don't even think there are birds chirping.

7. I do a spectacular first of school hairdo on Two Bits (that instantly frizzes out) while discussing how it's not ok to cry just because I require you to stand for 4 minutes while I braid, and could you just act like an 8 year old already.


8. We take first day of school pictures and I forget about the hugs and high fives because Husband is still in the shower even though he's their ride and the kids keep squinting into the direct sunlight even though I specifically told them to open their eyes for the pictures.


9. Husband takes the kids to school BARELY on time, with lots of stress, and I scared all the unicorns away with all of my scowling and fake-good-parenting.


10. I can't go back to bed because the little kids are on a squealing rampage of destruction.



I don't even know why I make plans for anything anymore.

The excitement this morning was palpable.  Really.