because I really can't get enough of myself

Now that Thanksgiving is over, you can officially put one of these one the top of your blog: You should be able to click on it, see it larger and save it to your computer.  Then just upload it into your header slot.  Or I guess you can link it to the image url.  Whatever.  Just do whatever you want.  Go ahead.  Do it. Also, you wanna know a cool place to hang out with the kids online? http://scriptures4kids.com It's especially awesome now that it's all Christmas-y.  And my kids really like the games in the Kids Club.  (If I weren't hogging the computer all the time, they'd actually get to play them more often like they want to.)

I didn't snore this time.  You know how for my last eye surgery I was really worried about doing something horribly embarrassing?   But then I just snored the whole time?  I don't remember much during that surgery other than thinking, "I'm snoring.  I need to stop snoring.  Why can't I stop myself from snoring?"  The rest of the surgery - I dunno?  Don't remember a thing. This time though?  I remember every detail.  (Like how it took 5 tries to get my IV in and so my forearms are now covered in bruises, and it's a good thing I'm not needle-shy.  But I wasn't drugged for that part, so I don't think it really counts in the whole "what I remembered this time versus last time" category.) The anesthesiologist (I hate spelling that word - it's an impossible word to spell, I tell you) gave me the same drugs as I had for the first surgery.  But then when my Dr was like, "Ok, let's do this,"  I was like, "W

Ok, not really. Actually, I'm pretty obsessed with windows.  And that the blinds are closed exactly at dusk.  You know, before anyone (or any thing -because you never know when the saber tooth tiger is going to get sick of the garage and start lurking in the back yard-) can SEE us. Concept: light inside+dark outside= people (or possibly tigers) spying on me. It's just that sometimes I forget the car has windows too.  And that they are, in fact, transparent. I always seem to remember when I'm mocking other drivers doing stupid stuff - like picking their nose or appearing to have an entire conversation when they're alone in the car.  Because opportunities like that can pass without anyone even laughing, and THAT is a travesty. But then sometimes I forget. Like today. I was coming home from childless errand running which means that I can crank the radio AS LOUD AS I WANT.  And I like it loud.  Like when you can feel it vibrating in your teeth.  And usually

I've had a drug-induced migraine for 3....ish....days now.  It could be 4 days.  What day is it? My kids are completely inconsiderate of the fact that my head has been at the point of exploding and my stomach contents are about to be on display (because puking, or the feeling there of, also comes with migraines - the JOY). Yesterday I said, "The next person to make a noise is going to lose their head ." And I said it really scary-like too.  And I'm scary.  SO SCARY. The kids just gave me their, 'are you serious?' eyebrows and said, "What is that even supposed to mean?  You're going to come cut our heads off?  With what?" And then I gave them the evil-glare-of-torturous-death as they ran away MAKING NOISE.  Obviously my evil-glare-of-torturous-death is having less and less effect on them. Thankfully my crazy eyeball pills, that are partly to blame for said migraine, will be iced on monday.  (Yes, I said, "iced" as in "fi

Remember awhile ago when I, mockingly , said I was going to start a magazine? Well, I'm a dork, and I really did. Introducing: The Barrel: Blogging Reviews (I know that Alison was supposed to be on the first cover, but I didn't want to make it look like I was TOTALLY favoring my friends....for now.....sort of.  Even though I kind of did anyway.  But not TOTALLY.) My sister, Michelle , is my magazine Co-Editor-in-Cheif-and-All-Things-That-Rock (which is a real title  - I looked it up...ok, no I didn't.).  And Barbaloot is writing a piece every month because I only know how to write about wiping noses and butts and let's face it, we need a different perspective on life represented. Also there is a section called "Potty Talk" and this month is Shelle's absolute FUNNIEST bathroom story ever told.  (Even Husband was laughing while he proofread this, and he never laughs at things I usually think are funny, which just proves it's hilariousness.) Bu