because I really can't get enough of myself

It was awesome. I'm glad I didn't stick my original plan of hiding behind my bangs in the back of classes.  I had so much more fun meeting everyone.  And I didn't even pee my pants nor hyperventilate when I read at the community keynote.  (Although I did sweat profusely and probably changed facial colors a few times.) And best of all, now I feel like I have real live friends.  Which brings my friend count up to like FIVE.  Wow.  I'm feeling really popular. And I would say more but Husband keeps interrupting me.  About every two seconds.  Here, let me tell you about it: scene: Husband in shower.  Me sitting on bed, trying to type a post on the laptop which rests happily on our ironing board ('cause we're all about fancy furniture here in the Bastow household.) Husband: Melissa!!!! Me: (ignore) Husband: MELLLLLISSSA!! Me: What? Husband (still in shower): Can you get me a screw driver, a wrench and a plastic bag? Me: Sure, and I want a hula hoop

I'm kind of freaking out.  Ok, I'm really freaking out.  REALLY FREAKING OUT. You know this: It's in two days.  Wait, scratch that.  Since it starts with the Girls Night Out on thursday, it's in less than two days.  (Except that I don't get to go to Girls Night since I'll still probably be traveling, BUT STILL it's soon. SOOOOOOOOOOOOON.) My original CBC plan was: "Wear camoflauge-ish clothing, hang head so bangs stay in eyes, don't make eye contact even if bangs are weirdly cooperating, sit in back of classes, maybe no one will notice you're there." THEN, my mom and I (mostly my mom) decided to snag the very last vendor's table for Green Jello with Carrots . (By the way, we're having our one year birthday celebration, and you can read about it on our blog, 'cause you get deals, AND if you're reading this small print then I know you're my real friend so I'll also give you 40% off your whole order of downloa

Have I ever mentioned my love of Hulu?  I love Hulu. The other evening I'm watching Hulu, but I've run out of Ghost Hunter shows and episodes of House.  Which is a pretty big tragedy.  Because without some kind of Hulu viewing paired with crocheting of newly purchased yarn, I'm almost certain I'd go insane.  (My love of yarn is like psycho-therapy.  Plus I came up with this super cute and awesome -in my opinion- pattern for girls dresses/shirts that I want to start selling on Etsy...seeing as my Etsy store has always been sooooo successful.) So I started digging through Hulu listings, looking for something interesting.  And did you know you can watch really old episodes of Outer Limits?  Ok, not REALLY old ones, but from when they re-introduced the show in the 90's (which, to me, seems like a loooooooooooooooooong time ago.  I was still stupid and optimistic in the 90's...and the hairstyles make me want to gag.) I watched the first episode of Outer Limits

Right now He's saying, "Honestly, go make dinner already!"  But I feel like if I don't get this all typed and OUT THERE, I will not be able to cook vegetables to perfection (which never happens anyway, but I'll be extra distracted, so they'll be extra grody.) Once, after Monkey was born, my visiting teacher came by for a chat.  I asked her how she was doing and she said: "Have you ever felt like you have taken on too many things, and you feel like you're failing at every single one?" I nodded my head and tried to sympathize and it's always stuck with me.  Because at the time I was in no way in a happy place (remember the Monkey post ) but I really hadn't ever felt like that. NOW I DO.  Boy do I ever. My life has been so stressful, and getting more and more stressful as the years progress, that I feel like I'm drowning.  I used to think that if I could keep my nose just above the water that I'd be ok.  But I've been a

I think everyone should be allowed to have a secret double life where rules don't apply and you can be whatever you want.  No matter what.  In fact, we shouldn't be allowed , it should just be a requirement for life. I planned out my whole secret double life the other day.  I want to be a seriously hot rocker chick.  A good rocker chick though, with major stage appeal.  Not just some girl who stands in front of people with a mic stand swinging her hips around.  I would be the best rocker chick the world has ever seen.  And I'd also be the lead guitarist in my band.  Because I want to be able to rip a mean solo on my Les Paul.  (Not that I really have a Les Paul guitar.  I do own a couple of guitars, an accordion and a piano; and our Guitar Hero guitar says it's a Les Paul, so that should count for something.) Of course in this secret double life I would be horribly attractive.  Skinny, and probably wearing something pleather (not real leather though, because I&#

Number Four turned 2 today.  Which is mildly insane, considering I just had her yesterday.  Somehow two years passed within a day.  I'm not sure how it happened, but I'm pretty sure I didn't get more than a night's sleep since she was born. Not that she's a horrible sleeper.  Just that I don't get much sleep. So, in honor of the anniversary of Number Four's birth, I am now going to tell you her story.  Before we really knew her, of course.  Because that's how the story begins... Monkey was six months old when Two Bits started telling me that I had her sister in my tummy.  And I would say, "No honey, I'm just fat.  There is no baby in there."  But she insisted.  Her sister was on the way. It was two months later that I told Husband I was going to the community center gym to workout with my cousin.  Instead we went to Walmart and bought a pregnancy test.  Then we went to the community center bathrooms and I conducted the pee on a stic

Monkey's eye surgery went well today.  The Dr sliced off, and then re-attached, a muscle.  Sounds gruesome, right?  It kind of is, if you think about it.  But we're really glad we have a good Dr with natural eyeball muscle slicing abilities.  'Cause she's great. I do have to say that he handled this whole eye surgery business much better when he was one.  Now that he's all smart and talky he just keeps yelling, "My eye hurts!!!!"  And then kicks his legs around.  But having had surgery on my eye a few months ago I am VERY MUCH MORE sympathetic towards him.  Because after my surgery I wanted to do the same thing - instead I just whined a lot. He refused to open his eyes for dinner tonight.  Even though we made pancakes especially for him.  He just sat in his chair blindly jabbing his plate with his round-tipped fork, hoping he could snag a piece of pancake.  It was pretty successful until the end when only a few scattered pieces were left.  So Two Bits

I've decided we need to seriously declutter our house.  For the past few months I feel like I've been living in chaos.  Like my life is completely out of my hands, and I'm just running to catch up with it.  And as I sit here looking around, it's no wonder I feel so out of control all the time - we live in CLUTTER HEAVEN. This is going to take a lot of work.  With time that I don't really have.  A large portion of the chaos in my life is that I have about 2 billion things to do, and each day I have deadlines.  Usually I'm so caught up in one deadline that I almost miss the next.  But I really think it would be worth the time (and major effort, and multiple trips to DI) to get my house more organized, with a whole lot LESS STUFF. LESS STUFF. Just those words make me feel better.  But I need to keep the momentum going once I start, so I should probably hang signs in every room of the house.  The signs will just say "less stuff."  And then I won'

In the spirit of "let's find any excuse to take an evening off" Husband and I decided we should celebrate Cinco de Mayo.  Sadly, I don't really know much about the holiday.  Mexican independence?  I should probably find out for sure.  Because right now I think I know more about Dia de los Muertos.....which really isn't that much either. Every time we decide to have an evening off we're pretty limited.  We have these really little people living here, and for some reason they require constant attention.  So instead of leaving the house for a magical Mexican evening we had a "Date Night In."  I'm sure it's not a new concept.  Basically, one of us grabs some food (that isn't a Happy Meal) and we rent a movie from Redbox.  Then we sit on our couch and ignore any and all whining from the sleeping kids' bedrooms. I had to run a few errands that evening anyway, so I was the one who picked up dinner.  I was planning on Mexican food.  On

Sometimes I really feel bad that I don't have friends.  But then I actually leave my house and hang out with real live people and realize how horribly underdeveloped my social skills are.  Which is most likely the cause of this 'having no friends' thing. So next time you hear me say, "Poor me, I have no friends."  You can just say, "That's because you're a social idiot."  Except that you probably won't ever hear me say that.  Because that would mean I'm having an actual conversation with you.  And I should probably just stop trying to socialize before the ineptitude gets worse. Except that I'm still planning on going to CBC.  I just pre-registered for classes.  Which is really kind of stupid, if you think about it.  Seeing as I don't really fit into any kind of social situation comfortably and I'll be attending an entire conference.  Yeah, I'll be the one in the back of the room, doodling on a notepad while I talk to m