Dec 6, 2012

the risks of online shopping

Online shopping is great.  Because when the packages come it's like a little mini Christmas, just for me.  Every time I hear the thump of a package at my front door I get really excited to know what has shown up.  And I get to lock myself in my bedroom and open it while being perfectly justified ignoring the screaming children out in the hall.

The other day I got a package with the sock monkey family inside (mom, dad, boy, and girl, complete in a box that looks like a car - yeah).  It was extra super exciting because I ordered it on ebay and you never really know when stuff will show up after you've used ebay.  And I can't remember the users whom I've ordered from, so when a package shows up and it's from some guy named Herbert from Michigan, and I'm thinking, "What is this?" and then I open it up and it's a sock monkey family...

CHRISTMAS!

Except that sometimes when the packages show up the delivery people ring my doorbell.  Which, normally, wouldn't be a big deal.  But the place where we're currently living has one of those super obnoxious doorbells with a really long electronic song instead of the usual "ding dong".

I loathe doorbells like that.

When my kids get home from school (because they walk home now, which is fabulous because I don't even have to leave the house to pick them up or anything) they like to ring the doorbell about 7 times in a row just because I've deadbolted the door and they can't get in.  Kids are obnoxious that way.


Besides the doorbell there's really only one risk to shopping online.  And that's when the company who has shipped the item does not put it in a cardboard box of an indeterminable nature.  And the kids know that their Christmas presents are showing up in packages, so they also rush for the door when things show up.  And sometimes they beat you to the door, like say, just as a completely random example, you're stuck in the bathroom having diarrhea, and they get the packages before you can even leave the bathroom, and it's in just a regular box that has a big fat picture of exactly the thing they're getting from Santa this year.

Yeah, shopping online can be risky. 

But I still think it's worth it because, you know, CHRISTMAS!

Dec 4, 2012

tragedy of the lost phone

I lost my phone for awhile today. 

This used to happen all the time.  And then I'd find it in the deep recesses of the couch or in the back of my closet or behind the toilet or something.  But that was back when my phone was just good for stupid stuff, like talking to people.  blech.

But now I usually have my phone RIGHT THERE, because I'm one of those addicted-to-their-smart-phone people.  Sometimes I'll tell people that I lost it and that's why I couldn't answer their call, when really it's because I'm busy exploding chuzzles or browsing pinterest when they call and I don't want to be interrupted.  Or sometimes (ie. all the time) I just don't want to talk on the phone, so I lie and pretend it's lost.

But when I lost my phone for real today, I was pretty scared.  And I had to go to the school and help in Monkey's kindergarten class WITHOUT it.  And then I had to go to the grocery store and buy Orville Redenbacher's new Farmhouse Cheddar Popcorn (which happens to be really really tasty) WITHOUT it.  And then I came home and I looked around like crazy until I found it.

It had rolled itself up in a blanket on my bed like a little puppy - silly phone.

I was super happy when I found it.

And then I checked instagram, and did a sudoku puzzle to celebrate.