Jul 20, 2012

the time that Netflix let me down

When I get sick I lay in bed and watch lots of Netflix.  Because that's what one is required to do when sick. This I know.

A few weeks ago I got really sick.  (Because summer is a time when illness go around.  Oh wait.  no - just for me.)  So I had to live next to my humidifier and take lots of naps and let my kids destroy my house in between rounds of video game playing. And, of course, I watched a lot of Netflix.

I was in one of my scary movie phases so I tried out a few that were obviously made with a $15 budget.

In one of the movies this guy has to stay in his apartment for 2 weeks without even stepping a foot out the door.  It only took him like a day and a half to go all psycho and start killing people and cooking his cat and stuff.  At that point of my illness I had been laying bed for a week and a half straight and hadn't even killed a single person.

I decided that particular movie was just stupid.

I also watched some movies with Vincent Price in them, because he's so creepy.  And also his hands are huge.

I don't know what life was like for him, but he was always attacking women in those movies.  I swear every time he was startled by a women the first thing Vincent Price would do is run up to her, grab her with his big scary hands, and shake the daylights out of her.  Then he'd literally toss her aside.  And the women would just take it from him without fighting back.

That just doesn't seem normal.

Netflix really needs to step it up for the next time I get sick.  Do you hear me Netflix people?  All that bad horror is totally your fault.

Jul 18, 2012

my rusty flow of life pipe is drowning me

Sometimes I feel like this:


And then I have to draw it in my notebook instead of getting actual stuff done.  And then I have to blog about it, and then explain it for you.  (Instead of getting actual stuff done.)

So that's a picture of me.  You can tell by the bad clothes and ponytails.  And I'm standing in a bricked up box.  Because in this picture, that's what it is.

And then there's a pipe that goes through the box, and regular daily life flows through it.  It's like a stream of time and chores and work and kids and dinner and all that other stuff that makes up life.  But my pipe is rusty and doesn't hold life very well, so it constantly leaks.

And then my box fills up with too much regular life. And instead of working on a drain, I just stand there in a daze.

Sometimes I feel like my box is totally full of water and I'm doggy paddling near the top sucking in that last little bit of air with just my lips sticking out of the water.  But I've been trying to cut back on stress lately.  That helps a little.

But still my box is watery.  Just full enough to be thinking, "Can't I just go back to bed?" and also, "Will my underwear ever be dry?!"

And also, there are little piranha type fishes in there, because sometimes it's not enough to be stuck in a bricked up box of slowly filling life water.  Sometimes the universe has to gnaw on you a little.  Because life is mean like that.

You know those really organized and happy people that seem so content and in control at all times?  If they were in bricked up boxes they would probably have their pipes in proper working order.  And their boxes would probably be super comfortable and dry.  And they'd probably be throwing Bunco parties and baking cheesecake in them.

Meanwhile, I'm just over here going, "Today was a success because I didn't drown."

Does anyone else feel like this?