Mar 24, 2011

ooooooooh, oooh, oooh, ooooooooh, GUESS WHAT?!!

You know how I have that magazine?  (Well, that magazine that's only partly mine that I'm always calling "my magazine"?)  We have made some changes and now it's even more AWESOME!

'tis the truth.

We tweaked our name so that we are now calling ourselves "The Barrel of Blogs".  And we're no longer shunning online social media.  AND best of all - we have whole new site and now we're PRETTY.  (Because, uh, yeah, that wordpress blog we were linking all our issues from - - BLECKKGHSDJHGKSDJN KKD - - that's me throwing up.)



So yeah.  Check out our new site (you'll need to resubscribe if you had signed up for the old site), like us on facebook, join us on twitter, basically come bask in our awesomeness.  (Did that come out too vain?  Or more proud-parent-like?  Because I'm not sure which one I was going for.)

Mar 17, 2011

the green post of required celebrating

Since I pretty much have been ignoring Saint Patrick's Day I figured I might as well post something about it so I can get out of doing anything else and still count it as "celebrating the holiday".

And now I'm going to talk about something Saint Patrick's-ey...

...on the subject of green, since that is the official color of the day:

Green Day.

As in, the band.

Green Day has always been one of my favorite bands because I can sing along to pretty much all of their songs.  This is not because I have an excellent memory for Green Day lyrics, but rather because the lead singer slurs all his words together so badly that all you have to do to sing along is mumble along to the tune.

I am an excellent tune mumbler.

I have no idea what half of their songs are about.

But I still love them.

And they are called GREEN Day, thusly filling my quota of Saint Patrick's Day celebrating.

I assume this will also excuse me from wearing green as well....seeing as I haven't been all day.

Barrel Winners!

Thanks to everyone who entered The Barrel giveaways.  I think you're all studs.  And studettes.  Mostly studettes.  Did any guys enter the giveaways?  Because then I would think you're all just studettes, and no studs whatsoever.

Thanks to random.org we have some winners:

Sea & Aster's $25 hanging terrarium was won by Kasey.

House of Darkly's 20% off coupon code was won by Irene.

Izzy's Attic free tutorial is going to Melissa.

A super awesome MissyB crochet pattern was won by Carly.

A free SNIS keychain or bracelet goes to Brooke.

AND

Yellow Heart Art's free 8x10 print was won by That Girl.

Congrats everyone!  I'll pass along your email addresses to the Etsy shop owners!

Mar 15, 2011

the offensiveness of junkmail has been taken to horribly new levels

Sometimes I check my junkmail folder to see if there's anything good in there.  You know how sometimes you get real live emails that for some reason end up in the junkmail?  Yeah, well, usually I miss those, because I get like 250 messages a day delivered to my junkmail and I only randomly check it....like once every 3 months....if there's a full moon.....and I've eaten enough chocolate.

Tonight was one of those nights.  (Ok, honestly I don't know if there's a full moon, but I did just eat a handful of chocolate chips.) So I did it, I checked my junkmail folder.

And the absolute RUDEST email was in there. 

It was so totally offensive that I couldn't even believe it was really in there.  But I stared at it for awhile, and sure enough, I wasn't hallucinating this time, it was really truly there. 

You know, I expect the emails from overseas bankers asking me to transfer them money, and I except the sleazy singles websites wanting me to look at their scantily clad photos, and I totally expect to get 50 messages a day telling me how awesome it would be to enlarge my....you know.  (Not that I even have a "you know", but if I did, it could be the size of elephant's trunk if all the offers I got were true.  And then WHERE would I find pants to contain it, I ask you?)

The email in my junkmail tonight was so much worse than money scams and "you know" sizes.  SO MUCH WORSE.  (For the faint of heart I must warn you to turn away now, and please don't blame me after you get as offended as I am.)  The subject line of this email was exactly this:

GET A NEW BRA

Can you even believe it?!!!!  I didn't even have the courage to open the email.  The NERVE of some people.  Just because I have saggy, I-put-granny-knockers-to-shame-with-these-old-things, boobs doesn't give random strangers the right to send me such horrid emails.  Even if my junkmail filter was trying to protect my fragile booby ego and hide it away.

I am sorry to have forever scarred you with such horrendous things. 

I just wanted you to understand that if you ever write to me and I don't answer, it might be because your email accidentally ended up in the junkmail folder, which I now solemnly vow never to look in again.  And plus I might be a little busy giving my saggy granny knockers a little peptalk so they'll get up off the floor once in awhile....or possibly I might be using every spare minute I have to learn some kind of specialized Kung Fu where I use my boobs to swing around and smack people, because then I can hunt down the emailer and beat them senseless....or maybe I won't answer because the moon just might not be full.

Mar 9, 2011

the secret karate weapon

Opie is the fastest, strongest kid in his karate class.  He beats all the other kids when they run, hang from bars or when they're paired up to do the little kid equivalent of sparring.  He pretty much rocks the whole class.

Well, almost.

Twice a week he meets his nemesis - the one person who can take him down.  Every time they spar he gets his butt kicked by a tiny little Asian GIRL.

Obviously we can't let this slide.

So I figured if his little nemesis was going to pull out the unfair advantage of being Asian (all Asians are genetically proven to be better at martial arts - honestly, science says so) that we could pull out our own secret weapon:







I'm calling it the KICK-BUTT-PONYTAIL.

Because you know any man sporting a ponytail better also be able to KICK BUTT.

Husband usually takes him to class and then gives me a full report afterwards.  So I guess we'll find out if the secret weapon worked, or if ponytails have no chance against Asian genes.

Mar 1, 2011

a new Barrel and a bunch of GIVEAWAYS


Zippidy-do-da!  The March issue of The Barrel is out!  And it comes with some really great articles and guess what else?  SUPER GIVEAWAYS.  Seriously....look below.  Tons of giveaways.  (And these are only the ones I'm mentioning on my blog - wait until you see the other half.)

But don't just skip to the giveaway section of the magazine, because the rest of it is really cool too.  (And I'm not even saying that because I'm promoting my magazine and would call it cool even if it was total crap.)

The Barrel giveaway : Sea and Asters

 As mentioned in this month's issue of The Barrel I'm giving away something from Sea and Asters!

These are the coolest plants.  EVER.  They're low maintenance and look mega-awesome.  I'm totally getting one for myself....as soon as I decide which ONE it is that I love.  (Seeing as they're all uber-mega-awesome, I'm having a hard time deciding on a favorite.)

The winner of this giveaway will receive a Hanging Globe Terrarium (worth $25) from Sea and Aster's etsy shop.




This giveaway is open to US residents only.  All giveaways associated with The Barrel end on March 15th at 11:59 PM MT.

Here's how to enter:

1- For ONE entry: visit Sea and Aster's Etsy shop then leave a comment on this post about which is your favorite product.

2- For another ONE entry you can "heart" Sea and Aster's Etsy shop. (Leave a separate comment telling me that you "hearted" them.)

3- For ONE more entry you can subscribe to The Barrel. (Leave me a separate comment letting me know you subscribed.)

4- And for TWO extra entries you can blog about this giveaway, but you must also mention The Barrel in your post.  (Leave two separate comments with a link to your post.)

The winner will be drawn randomly, contacted and also announced on this blog.
PLEASE LEAVE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS WITH YOUR COMMENTS/ENTRIES.

The Barrel giveaway : House of Darkly

 As seen in this month's issue of The Barrel I'm giving away a discount to House of Darkly.

I know I said this in the magazine already, but I LOOOOOVE House of Darkly's crazy toast plush.  I love it.  I do.  Plus her other stuff is awesome too.

The winner of this giveaway will get a coupon code good for 20% off anything in the House of Darkly etsy shop.





All giveaways associated with The Barrel end on March 15th at 11:59 PM MT.

Here's how to enter:

1- For ONE entry: visit House of Darkly's etsy shop then leave a comment on this post about which is your favorite product.

2- For another ONE entry you can "heart" House of Darkly's etsy shop. (Leave a separate comment telling me that you "hearted" them.)

3- For ONE more entry you can subscribe to The Barrel. (Leave me a separate comment letting me know you subscribed.)

4- And for TWO extra entries you can blog about this giveaway, but you must also mention The Barrel in your post.  (Leave two separate comments with a link to your post.)

The winner will be drawn randomly, contacted and also announced on this blog.
PLEASE LEAVE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS WITH YOUR COMMENTS/ENTRIES.

The Barrel giveaway : Izzy's Attic

Like I said in this month's issue of The Barrel I'm giving away a free product from Izzy's Attic.

Izzy's Attic sells tutorials so that you can become master hair accessory makers.  Her stuff is great too.  They pretty much make the billion and a half hair accessories that I've made my girls look like ribbon poo.  And who wants to put ribbon poo on their daughter's head?

The winner will get to pick their favorite tutorial from Izzy's Attic shop.




 All giveaways associated with The Barrel end on March 15th at 11:59 PM MT.

Here's how to enter:

1- For ONE entry: visit Izzy's Attic etsy shop then leave a comment on this post about which is your favorite product.

2- For another ONE entry you can "heart"  Izzy's Attic etsy shop. (Leave a separate comment telling me that you "hearted" them.)

3- For ONE more entry you can subscribe to The Barrel. (Leave me a separate comment letting me know you subscribed.)

4- And for TWO extra entries you can blog about this giveaway, but you must also mention The Barrel in your post.  (Leave two separate comments with a link to your post.)

The winner will be drawn randomly, contacted and also announced on this blog.
PLEASE LEAVE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS WITH YOUR COMMENTS/ENTRIES.

The Barrel giveaway : MissyB Designs

 As seen in The Barrel this month I'm giving stuff away from my own etsy shop!  Yeah, I'm a nerd.  But hey, you can win two crochet patterns.  And they're AWESOME.  'cause I'm AWESOME.  Oh yea.

The winner will get to pick which two patterns they want from my MissyB etsy shop.




All giveaways associated with The Barrel end on March 15th at 11:59 PM MT.

Here's how to enter:

1- For ONE entry: visit my MissyB etsy shop then leave a comment on this post about which is your favorite product.

2- For another ONE entry you can "heart" my MissyB etsy shop (Leave a separate comment telling me that you "hearted" me.)

3- For ONE more entry you can subscribe to The Barrel. (Leave me a separate comment letting me know you subscribed.)

4- And for TWO extra entries you can blog about this giveaway, but you must also mention The Barrel in your post.  (Leave two separate comments with a link to your post.)

The winner will be drawn randomly, contacted and also announced on this blog.
PLEASE LEAVE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS WITH YOUR COMMENTS/ENTRIES.

The Barrel giveaway : SNIS Handmade Leather Goods

As seen in this month's issue of The Barrel I'm giving away one leather keychain or bracelet from SNIS.

Their keychains crack me up.  In a really good way.  Like, if I was to ever have a grumpy day (like every day) and I see something like that on my keychain, then I doubt I'll be able to scream at my kids as well.

Also, good news!  Even those of you who don't win can get 15% off everything in their shop!  Just enter the code: THEBARREL to get the discount.

If you win this giveaway you get to choose the bracelet or keychain out of SNIS's etsy shop (and they have a bunch to choose from):




All giveaways associated with The Barrel end on March 15th at 11:59 PM MT.

Here's how to enter:

1- For ONE entry: visit SNIS's etsy shop then leave a comment on this post about which is your favorite product.

2- For another ONE entry you can "heart" SNIS's etsy shop. (Leave a separate comment telling me that you "hearted" them.)

3- For ONE more entry you can subscribe to The Barrel. (Leave me a separate comment letting me know you subscribed.)

4- And for TWO extra entries you can blog about this giveaway, but you must also mention The Barrel in your post.  (Leave two separate comments with a link to your post.)

The winner will be drawn randomly, contacted and also announced on this blog.
PLEASE LEAVE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS WITH YOUR COMMENTS/ENTRIES.

The Barrel giveaway : Yellow Heart Art

As seen in this month's issue of The Barrel I'll be giving away one 8x10 print from Yellow Heart Art.  Yay.

Yellow Heart Art has some really great prints, one of which says, "If You Get Eaten by A T-rex, I'll Miss You".  And how can you not love that?! (You pretty much don't count as a person if you don't love it.  I'm just sayin'.)

The winner of this give away will get to choose from the following 8x10 prints:





This giveaway is open to US Residents only.  All giveaways associated with The Barrel end on March 15th at 11:59 PM MT. 

Here's how to enter:

1- For ONE entry: visit Yellow Heart Art's etsy shop then leave a comment on this post about which is your favorite product.

2- For another ONE entry you can "heart" Yellow Heart Art's etsy shop.  (Leave a separate comment telling me that you "hearted" them.)

3- For ONE more entry you can subscribe to The Barrel. (Leave me a separate comment letting me know you subscribed.)

4- And for TWO extra entries you can blog about this giveaway, but you must also mention The Barrel in your post.  (Leave two separate comments with a link to your post.)

The winner will be drawn randomly, contacted and also announced on this blog.
PLEASE LEAVE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS WITH YOUR COMMENTS/ENTRIES.